this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
