next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
