Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
