So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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