508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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