distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
NoShamevember. You game?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
