We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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