it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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