No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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