Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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