I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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