I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
