i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize