you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
