It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
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I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
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The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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