Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
