Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
