He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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