Do you still have your period?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize