I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Randomize
