You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
