I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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