i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize