It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
