What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
