I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
