Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
