I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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