I heard we made out
That's intense
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
