Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Randomize
