Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
