I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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