I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
