so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
