Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
