you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
