just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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