so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
