WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
