drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
