We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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