too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
try to milk me bitch
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