omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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