i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
