We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
