The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
