Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
