Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
