Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
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Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
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Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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