i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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