Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
