Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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