I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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