All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
