Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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