i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
