you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
