If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
